My Love/Hate Relationship with the 90s

Remember the 90s?

When light-skinded brothers were winning?

When scrawny, bird-chested R&B singers were getting ALL the draws?

And Thursday nights, people stayed home to watch TV?

And girl groups were EVERYWHERE?

And Hip Hop had more than just one face?

It was a GREAT time.

Except… hair scrunchies. Which were just stupid.

And dudes wearing overalls and no shirt. To the CLUB. How did we let that shit go down? And it was always some bird-legged dude who was doing the most at the gym for his upper body, but nothing else. Imagine the disappointment when those overalls slid to the floor…

And those horrible silk shirts with the loud prints, which, by the end of the night, would be glued to guys’ backs like plastic wrap.

And Starter jackets. Listen, I dunno how these were received in your neck of the woods, but in my city, folks were getting shot for these. SO not worth it.

And oh God… THIS…

Remember the anxiety associated with that shit? And if you were like me, and you had to use the ONE phone line for this, then someone was always picking up the phone to use it and disconnecting you. Shit was maddening.

And how we would play those VHS tapes until they hissed, and warbled and jammed in our VCRs…

And how that damn cassette tape kept getting stuck in your mom’s green Honda Accord (with the sunroof), and you had to keep pulling it out and rewinding all of that loose tape back into the cassette with a pencil…

And having to rewind your favorite song, so there was that uncomfortable silence after you and your girls just finished singing Mary J’s “Real Love” at the top of your lungs…

And those cursed butterfly clips…

And this:

Oh. And…

Yeah.

So, when you sit with your grandchildren and bore them with tales about how movies, music and film were better “back in the day”, remember…

They have the internet now. There’s proof to the contrary.

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